Confused and Not Loving It

Yeah...I've had an interesting week, to say the least. I don't even know where to start, so I'm just gonna throw things out, bullet-point-style, and hope I get everything right (if not in order):

• Okay. So NaNoWriMo started last Saturday, which was awesome. NaNoWriMo, or National Novel Writing Month, is a creative writing challenge: write 50,000 words in one month. There's a website and everything for it, forums for procrastinating, write-ins where NaNoers meet up to write and procrastinate and drink coffee and whatnot together, word wars - it's awesome.
  
  
• I had a crapload of tests this week: mini-quizzes every day and a chapter test today in Math Analysis, a chapter test in AP Prob and Stats yesterday, a unit exam and in-class essay in AP US History yesterday, and a Spanish test on Wednesday. Needless to say, I'm pretty burnt out, and thank god it's the weekend finally.
  
  
• Freaky-creepy-stalker-rapist-dude won't leave me alone again. I tried telling him earlier this week to leave me alone, but yesterday at lunch he started following me again. I SWEAR, I'M GOING TO FREAKING KILL HIM! I was really emotionally unstable, so I swear I just hid in Mr. Ness's room the whole time and...well, broke down. Annie was nice enough to let me cry on her shoulder and offered to be my emotional support for when I "kick Jordan's ass".
  
  
• As for why I was emotionally unstable...okay, the whole Jordan-problem-thing resurfaced during lunch, which was right after fourth period - and I have AP English fourth period, but to freak us out my history and English teachers decided to switch the periods, so we had AP US History (and the unit exam and essay) fourth period then English sixth period. And, to be nice, the history teacher said we could do the multiple choice part of the exam with a partner...and guess who ended up working alone because all her friends wanted to work with each other: me. That really hurt, because they didn't even say anything about it - they didn't even say 'sorry' or anything, just left me to figure something out. Afterwards, Kevin swore he had been about to turn around and ask if I had wanted to work with him but Daniel had said they should work together, but...I don't know. For some reason, it's really hard to believe him; for the past few weeks, our relationship has been sort of on-again, off-again, and...I'm not sure if we'll ever be as close as we used to be. It's like there's this huge gap between us: before, we had a wide, stable bridge pretty much making the gap non-existant, but now that bridge has completely crumbled, and all we're left with is a rickety rope bridge that sometimes is there, and sometimes isn't. Sometimes, it feels like we're the closest friends ever, like everything's awesome and amazing and perfect, and sometimes it's like I can't even talk to him because I feel like he won't listen. And...I'm scared. Because I thought this whole thing was over, I thought we had gotten past the bumps in our friendship, and now this: I don't want to, but I doubt his honesty. I want to believe he was telling the truth; I want to believe that he really wanted to work with me, and not Daniel...but I can't.

So there's my past week in a rather large nutshell. I'm feeling so, so lost right now, and I don't know where to go; I'm scared, I'm worried, I'm lonely, and I don't know what to do.

I feel honestly, truly alone.