Regrets

In my life, there are very few decisions I regret making; and of those, even fewer did I regret even as I made them. Yet tonight I regret what I did - or rather what I did not do - so much that it hurts my heart. I wish I had had the courage to go after him, to give him a hug and whisper "good night", but I didn't - I merely gave him a weak smile.

You see, a close friend of mine asked me earlier this week if I wanted to see the school play with him. Of course, I said yes - a mutual friend of ours was in it, and I really liked this guy so I enjoyed doing anything with him. So tonight, we saw the play - and it was rather good, although the showing on Thursday was much better - and afterward we gave our friend a hug, congratulated her, and all that. Yet after we made our way through the crowds to the parking lot, it was time for us to part; he said he had to go, and said goodnight. And in that moment, my heart literally clenched: as he walked away, I wanted so much to step forward, to give him a hug, to whisper "goodnight" in return, to do something to show him how I feel...yet I couldn't. I stood there, shivering, as I watched him leave, and I did nothing.

I wish I had stepped forward. I wish I had gone after him. I wish I had not hesitated, that I had moved forward and slipped my arms around him, told him goodnight and wished him sweet dreams.

I regret my inaction, for it made my heart hurt all the more at our parting.